Ask Ariely: On Begging, Bad Waiters, and the Facebook Blues
Here’s my Q&A column from the WSJ this week — and if you have any questions for me, just email them to AskAriely@wsj.com.
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Dear Dan,
I was recently approached by a panhandler who asked me for 75 cents, and I gave him the money. I was late for my train, so I didn’t have time to stop and try to understand why he chose 75 cents. But I wonder: Do you think the 75-cent request could be a “market tested” amount, one that yields a higher overall level of “donations” than asking outright for a buck or more.
—Brad
The panhandler could be trying to make a unique request in order to separate himself from the competition. But my guess is that you were more willing to give him money because you inferred things from the specificity of his request.
When someone tells us to meet them at 8:03, we come to a different conclusion about how seriously they mean that exact time as compared with their telling us to meet them at 8 or 8-ish. In the same way, a request for exactly 75 cents may carry a set of inferences about how seriously the person needs the money. It may lead us to think there is a specific reason for the request, like getting enough for bus fare. Plus, even if he asks for 75 cents, it’s likely that people will give $1 and not wait for change.
You could argue that the same principle would apply if he asked for $1.25, but in this case the size of the request might deter some people, and if they don’t have exact change, giving $2 might be too much. This is just speculation, though. If you are willing to volunteer as an experimenter for a few days, we can gather some real data and get to the bottom of this.
What lessons can we draw from this strategy? First, think about the inferences that people make from the exact way that we request something. Second, asking for general help is unlikely to be as effective as asking for exactly what we need.
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Dear Dan,
In a restaurant where waiters pool their tips, could they actually receive more tips overall by employing a “good waiter/bad waiter” routine, where one waiter is surly and unhelpful, then another waiter steps in who is friendly and goes above and beyond in serving the client? I suspect that the scheme might cause the customer to leave a larger tip for the second waiter, which will ultimately be pooled with the tips of the “bad” waiter.
—David
I agree with your analysis. And for it to work, you don’t even need the waiters to share their tips—they could just alternate roles.
A friend who worked for a large consumer-products company was trying to change the company’s service motto from “we do things right for our customers” to “we mess up the first time, but then we fix it.” His idea (which upper management rejected, by they way) was that when people expect and receive good customer service, it draws no attention, and they just take it for granted (you can think of parallels to romantic relationships as well). But if we give customers a contrast between good and bad service (as at a restaurant), they may start to notice and appreciate good service more.
I suspect that some industries may have already picked up on this idea, and that airport restaurants are leading the charge by providing the training grounds for delivering bad service most effectively.
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Dear Dan,
I graduated from college a few years ago, and since then my social life has been limited to Facebook. And it is far from satisfying.
—James
Facebook has many wonderful aspects, but I agree that it is no substitute for human contact. If you ever feel that nobody really cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of student loan payments.
See the original article in the Wall Street Journal here.

The Honest Truth About Dishonesty: How We Lie to Everyone - Especially Ourselves

I was dining alone once in a restaurant in a big city in Asia, when a perfectly nice, goodlooking Chinese man came up to me and asked me to marry him and take the next train to Wuhan, which is where he lived. On the one hand, I admire a person who knows exactly what he wants. On the other, I did not quite know what to say. So I declined, politely. Maybe he should have been a bit fuzzier about his intentions, after all.
Perhaps employing a Kano analysis to the overall patron dining experience would be a more efficient manner to increase tips for all. http://bit.ly/15YtEbZ.
On the restaurant issue, there was a seminal study in the 1980s by British Airways. They were looking to see who their most loyal customers were. Those who had experienced an unresolved issue were naturally the least loyal. However, those that experienced no issues at all were NOT the most loyal. The most loyal group of customers were those that had experienced an issue but had it resolved to their satisfaction in a relatively speedy way.
I work in the apartment industry, and I’ve often thus joked that we should intentionally leave something broken for when someone moves in and then wow them at how we fix it so quickly. Of course that would only work if no one knows our strategy–the minute it got out we were intentionally doing that, I suspect the backlash wouldn’t be worth it. But it does prove the point that you don’t really get full credit for getting it right the first time.
Regarding a motto, some of us in our service department use “We’re not happy ’til you’re not happy” and “We do it nice, ‘cuz we do it twice”- very tongue-in-cheek of course.
In the 1980s I worked for a financial institution on the West Coast where the products and services were all just a commodity. We delighted business customers, but making an error on their bill and fixing it quickly when they called, or if they didn’t find it themselves we’d fix it and then call them to let them know we were on top of the situation. But it was always better when they discovered the error themselves and called the number on the bill, which we answered right away with a human being who would solve the problem immediately. Some customers wanted to send us gifts for such outstanding service!
Dear Dan: I lived in Israel for many years and I am very familiar with Israeli “culture” and the Israeli way of life and the Israeli “schtick”. Reading your blog or books and insights into human behavior renews my faith in the power of the mind and the great observation skills that you and most Israelis are famous for. I know that you may take exception at me calling you and Israeli , but that’s cool, you would not be my kind of guy if you didn’t…Some of your ideas or opinions are more interesting than others but I always enjoy reading you and the way in which you try and succeed in disguising your natural “chutzpah” I would really like to meet you some day, when you come to Toronto and have a hummus and a Goldstar in the million Israeli joints we have here. I send my best regards and please keep it up and be true to yourself…Do not become Americanized in your ideas or outlook on life…PLEASE..! Shalom Dan. From:. Julio Siperman…Js66416@gmail.com.
I had a delima that I asked Dan a few months ago.. I didn’t get any response. Fair enough I thought he is a busy international mega star after all. But then I see even James got a response from his nothing question about facebook. Did my question really suck or does Dan owns stock in some facebook competitor?
Perhaps try again, maybe to several of his emails. I got a reply from Dan. I believe he is doing his best to answer questions.
Dear professor, do you think it is appropriate to apply good waiter/bad waiter strategy in my class management? My students and their parents seem not to appreciate my good will at all.
Some years ago while leaving a Los Angeles court house, (yes I am a lawyer), one of the local homeless asked everyone he could for $1.12. I asked him why the odd amount. His reponse, because it will stop people like you and get them to ask me why the odd amount. Once they ask the question, I end up with more than $1.12. He did this for years outside the L.A. Superior Courthouse in downtown L.A. He had the main door as his work post. It must have been worthwhile for it kept him coming back.
re the good/waiter bad waiter strategy and airlines…could it also be why there seems to be little motivation to get bag handling done better? relative to the baggage handling the airlines usually makes me much happier.
See the segment on mean waiters for an experiment that This American Life already conducted. They found mean wait staff actually got tipped more! http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/245/allure-of-the-mean-friend
Wendy Grinberg
Dan, given what you said about the Pan Handler, should businesses come up with very specific prices rather than the traditional $99.99 because it sounds good? Do you think a business might actually get a better result with the price set at $103.50?
I once had a homeless guy stop me on Tottenham Crt Road in London and ask me “Excuse me guvnor [he actually said that] – could you spare a million pounds?”. He got my attention and we shared a laugh about it. He then asked “spare a pound then” and of course I obliged – we were now friends and how could I refuse!
With regards to 75c being overly specific, this is a subject thoroughly discussed in linguistic philosophy. Those interested can read about Grice’s maxims of cooperation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooperative_principle#Quantity_of_Information
There are lots of fun counter-examples to the cooperative principle that illustrate how adding more information than required leads to people interpreting your words in a way that parts with their straightforward meaning.
Q: How is the captain today?
A: Fine. He’s not drunk.
I’ve worked in IT for some time; back in the days of Windows 3.1, users would have to reboot their PC’s about 2 or 3 times a day, this was considered normal and no-one complained when their machine crashed and they had to reboot. We then migrated to Windows NT4; a few months later we had users call the helpdesk and complain they had already had to reboot twice in a single month and what could we do about it. I think the trick may be to maintain low expectations (perceived) without it being detrimental to performance.
Also… I once took a taxi home from the airport after a vacation with my wife. The driver was in a really bad mood, muttering and cursing under his breath all the way and driving like a maniac – I felt like I was disrupting his evening. I gave him quite a large tip because I was afraid he may be mentally unstable and try to shank me – considering he now knows where I live…
. Maybe it was all an act to get that exact reaction.
This is really a great article. Looking forward to hearing you continue. Thank you.
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