Comments on: Dear Irrational (Does it Pay to Play Hard to Get?) http://danariely.com/2009/08/25/dear-irrational-does-it-pay-to-play-hard-to-get/ My Irrational Life Tue, 07 Feb 2012 23:59:05 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: Does My Ex Want to Get Back Together – How to Tell | Magic Makeup Methods - Get Your Ex Back - Prevent Divorce http://danariely.com/2009/08/25/dear-irrational-does-it-pay-to-play-hard-to-get/#comment-25471 Thu, 13 Oct 2011 18:22:43 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=664#comment-25471 [...] #split {}#single {}#splitalign {margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;}#singlealign {margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;}#splittitlebox {text-align: center;}#singletitlebox {text-align: center;}.linkboxtext {line-height: 1.4em;}.linkboxcontainer {padding: 7px 7px 7px 7px;background-color:#eeeeee;border-color:#000000;border-width:0px; border-style:solid;}.linkboxdisplay {padding: 7px 7px 7px 7px;}.linkboxdisplay td {text-align: center;}.linkboxdisplay a:link {text-decoration: none;}.linkboxdisplay a:hover {text-decoration: underline;} function opensplitdropdown() { document.getElementById('splittablelinks').style.display = ''; document.getElementById('splitmouse').style.display = 'none'; var titleincell = document.getElementById('titleincell').value; if (titleincell == 'yes') {document.getElementById('splittitletext').style.display = 'none';} } function closesplitdropdown() { document.getElementById('splittablelinks').style.display = 'none'; document.getElementById('splitmouse').style.display = ''; var titleincell = document.getElementById('titleincell').value; if (titleincell == 'yes') {document.getElementById('splittitletext').style.display = '';} } Why Do Girls Play Hard To Get?Gentleman and females in relationships play hard to get?Guy and women in relationships play hard to get?Gentleman and girls in relationships play hard to get?Dont Play Hard To GetDon’t play hard to get!Play hard to get and win herGentleman and girls in partnerships play hard to get?Gentleman and women in partnerships play hard to get?Dan Ariely [...]

]]> By: nutsvolosteva http://danariely.com/2009/08/25/dear-irrational-does-it-pay-to-play-hard-to-get/#comment-22240 Mon, 28 Mar 2011 17:55:23 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=664#comment-22240 many thanks for the article, I love it

]]> By: Jenechka108 http://danariely.com/2009/08/25/dear-irrational-does-it-pay-to-play-hard-to-get/#comment-15333 Mon, 09 Aug 2010 18:04:45 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=664#comment-15333 I am sorry, that I interfere, but you could not paint little bit more in detail.

]]> By: Robert Zier, PhD, Course VIII http://danariely.com/2009/08/25/dear-irrational-does-it-pay-to-play-hard-to-get/#comment-4006 Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:50:27 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=664#comment-4006 Have you talked to Steve Pinker in order to blend some of his thinking about how the brain evolved into you research? It may be a good opportunity for both of you. I found both of your works to be quite interesting, and he may have some insight into your research.

]]> By: yyy http://danariely.com/2009/08/25/dear-irrational-does-it-pay-to-play-hard-to-get/#comment-4005 Sun, 20 Dec 2009 21:55:37 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=664#comment-4005 There’s another reason to play hard to get, aside from strict gender roles. It’s not really about playing hard to get, because that implies that you’re crafting some sort of game to hook him. Which – you’re not. He might seem like a great guy – but, ALL of them seem that way in the beginning (yeah, i have a bad dating record too).

What you’re doing is holding out on sex until the blinders (the part of you that thinks he is perfect and wonderful) are off. Once you know him for what he is, or you at least you have a good idea, you can have sex with him, (if it at all seems appealing at that point). It’s not about holding out, it’s about not going in blind.

Sex makes us irrational – easily attached, and not having it really helps with invoking your higher logic in relationships. While I’m not really into prescribed gender roles, I do think that this bit of old wisdom holds true – for both men and women.

Just my two cents.

]]> By: Alex http://danariely.com/2009/08/25/dear-irrational-does-it-pay-to-play-hard-to-get/#comment-4004 Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:35:34 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=664#comment-4004 Pemo, have you noted the average quality of comments on the internet?

]]> By: Pemo Theodore http://danariely.com/2009/08/25/dear-irrational-does-it-pay-to-play-hard-to-get/#comment-4003 Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:39:33 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=664#comment-4003 Diane G

Pemo Theodore wrote:
“I posted this over at Amazon.com but wondered whether you ever read the comments there so have posted this here too. Scuse my repititveness.”
Don’t worry, he never reads comments here, either.
11 September 2009, 11:29 pm

So I am wondering if Dan is doing any research with scientists about listening to feedback. Its obvious from the state of his blog that comments are never even read, let alone responded to. What’s the point in enabling comments if they just sit there in virtual reality with no ability to become a conversation with Dan?????

]]> By: Re: "Unsympathetic" http://danariely.com/2009/08/25/dear-irrational-does-it-pay-to-play-hard-to-get/#comment-4002 Mon, 21 Sep 2009 21:21:18 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=664#comment-4002 THANK YOU. Thank you for pointing out the fact that playing mind games, and keeping up with “the mating game” is not the same as developing a real relationship.

Congratulations, ladies, you may be able to trick a man into “respecting” you more by waiting, given that you’re operating within a male-centered mating game, but guess what: you’re losing. You may think that he’s the one chasing you, but you’re the one going online and asking questions about how to convince a guy that you’re not a “slut,” yet sexually attractive, yet marriage material, yet interested, yet not too interested, blah blah blah…

HELLO SEXUAL DOUBLE STANDARD.

What if men aren’t the only ones with a “biological” incentive to reproduce? Why do men have sex because it’s natural, while women have sex in order to hook a long-term mate? Newsflash: Maybe women want to have sex, too. Why is a woman disposable and ridiculed for treating sex the way that men do, while a man is praised and excouraged to pursue sex?

I have sex with a man when I feel I am ready, and that may be sooner or later. If he is someone who believes that women who “give it up” right away are “easy” and therefore unattractive, I am unlikely to have a connection with him, unlikely to sleep with him in the first place, and uninterested in being with someone who supports an unfair sexual double standard.

Ultimately, if there is a true connection there, based on more important things than adherence to sexual gender roles, it will work. If not, both parties are better off without the other.

WOMEN: Maybe it’s time to pay more attention to what YOU want both sexually and in a relationship, instead of worrying about about playing the game.

]]> By: Pemo Theodore http://danariely.com/2009/08/25/dear-irrational-does-it-pay-to-play-hard-to-get/#comment-4001 Mon, 21 Sep 2009 11:01:19 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=664#comment-4001 Diane G

Pemo Theodore wrote:
“I posted this over at Amazon.com but wondered whether you ever read the comments there so have posted this here too. Scuse my repititveness.”

Don’t worry, he never reads comments here, either.
Thanks Diane I kinda gathered that now. No dialog in these blogs then, only a diatribe???

]]> By: Logana http://danariely.com/2009/08/25/dear-irrational-does-it-pay-to-play-hard-to-get/#comment-4000 Wed, 16 Sep 2009 00:57:07 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=664#comment-4000 “someone who isn’t easy and doesn’t play games”

… so … someone who genuinely isn’t that sexually attracted towards you at first, then? :p

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