Comments on: Valentine’s Blog http://danariely.com/2009/02/14/valentine%e2%80%99s-blog/ My Irrational Life Mon, 06 Sep 2010 15:44:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: Tony http://danariely.com/2009/02/14/valentine%e2%80%99s-blog/#comment-15348 Tony Mon, 09 Aug 2010 21:10:34 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=353#comment-15348 Amazingly! Amazingly! Amazingly! Amazingly!

]]> By: mer http://danariely.com/2009/02/14/valentine%e2%80%99s-blog/#comment-10468 mer Sun, 06 Jun 2010 17:04:18 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=353#comment-10468 maybe the question is: why does freedom of choice make it a problem or make us unhappy? maybe the question is: why does freedom of choice make it a problem or make us unhappy?

]]> By: Edibles World http://danariely.com/2009/02/14/valentine%e2%80%99s-blog/#comment-3259 Edibles World Fri, 22 Jan 2010 10:52:13 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=353#comment-3259 Love the post. Thought you might like this!! Create a one of a kind Valentines gift at www.ediblesworld.co.uk where you can upload your own image and message on to a 200gram Personalised Chocolate Card. Made using Belgian chocolate icing inlay and full colour edible ink, it is a fun, personal and unique Valentines gift that can be completley devoured by your Valentine. Each Personalised Chocolate Card is hand wrapped in tissuepaper and delivered in a stylish silver tin! Love the post. Thought you might like this!!

Create a one of a kind Valentines gift at http://www.ediblesworld.co.uk where you can upload your own image and message on to a 200gram Personalised Chocolate Card. Made using Belgian chocolate icing inlay and full colour edible ink, it is a fun, personal and unique Valentines gift that can be completley devoured by your Valentine. Each Personalised Chocolate Card is hand wrapped in tissuepaper and delivered in a stylish silver tin!

]]> By: Anirban http://danariely.com/2009/02/14/valentine%e2%80%99s-blog/#comment-3258 Anirban Mon, 30 Nov 2009 07:23:25 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=353#comment-3258 I find another comment in your book related to anchoring that I found relevant to relationships- suppose you meet someone who is a person worth keeping, but the initial experience of meeting is such that the anchor point is a low one. Then you are more likely to leave ('trade') that person for another who may be less a lot less richer in intellect or character but has an initially high anchor value (perhaps caused by the immediately visible physical attraction) I find another comment in your book related to anchoring that I found relevant to relationships- suppose you meet someone who is a person worth keeping, but the initial experience of meeting is such that the anchor point is a low one. Then you are more likely to leave (‘trade’) that person for another who may be less a lot less richer in intellect or character but has an initially high anchor value (perhaps caused by the immediately visible physical attraction)

]]> By: jbuford39 http://danariely.com/2009/02/14/valentine%e2%80%99s-blog/#comment-3257 jbuford39 Tue, 24 Feb 2009 06:21:56 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=353#comment-3257 On the other hand, if you want to maximize your chances of happiness without love, it is trivial to show that: assume you will meet 30 marriageable people grade each of the first 7 on a 1 to 10 scale. Marry the first person after #7 who gets a higher grade than any of the #'s 1 thru 7. The mathematics is based on the logic that follows if you assume you do not assume you want to marry the first or 30th person you meet . On the other hand, if you want to maximize your chances of happiness without love, it is trivial to show that:
assume you will meet 30 marriageable people
grade each of the first 7 on a 1 to 10 scale.

Marry the first person after #7 who gets a higher grade than any of the #’s 1 thru 7.

The mathematics is based on the logic that follows if you assume you do not assume you want to marry the first or 30th person you meet .

]]> By: jbuford39 http://danariely.com/2009/02/14/valentine%e2%80%99s-blog/#comment-3256 jbuford39 Sun, 22 Feb 2009 19:24:11 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=353#comment-3256 I think the primary premise in this article is the cynical belief that everyone "settles" for a spouse, rather than falls in love. Romeo and Juliet would have rejected the whole line of reasoning, as would have Charlie Chaplin and Oona O'Neill, or even Damon and Pythias. My wife and I love each other as much if not more than we did when we married over 50 years ago, and every day I love her more and more. I think the primary premise in this article is the cynical belief that everyone “settles” for a spouse, rather than falls in love. Romeo and Juliet would have rejected the whole line of reasoning, as would have Charlie Chaplin and Oona O’Neill, or even Damon and Pythias. My wife and I love each other as much if not more than we did when we married over 50 years ago, and every day I love her more and more.

]]> By: Doctor Jay http://danariely.com/2009/02/14/valentine%e2%80%99s-blog/#comment-3255 Doctor Jay Thu, 19 Feb 2009 00:37:41 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=353#comment-3255 @Will, Usually in arranged marriages, it isn't the parents that do the primary choosing, it's a matchmaker. The parents get to approve it, but they don't do the picking. @Will,

Usually in arranged marriages, it isn’t the parents that do the primary choosing, it’s a matchmaker. The parents get to approve it, but they don’t do the picking.

]]> By: UnpredicatblyRational http://danariely.com/2009/02/14/valentine%e2%80%99s-blog/#comment-3254 UnpredicatblyRational Wed, 18 Feb 2009 23:18:04 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=353#comment-3254 I agree with the fact that when you are given choices you end up being less satisfied. I do want to share my thoughts on arranged marriage. It really depends on the culture you are brought up in. For example, I am from India and there are a good number of people who grow up knowing that their marriages will be arranged by their parents or relatives. So, they never really want to get into relationships. That said, I am sure they all have feeling for someone while they are growing up. Who doesn't? But they know what is going to happen and they don't enter in relationships. The society is structured in a way that makes it a part of your life and the society changes with time and generations. India is no more a closed economy. Education, internet, travel, etc. are influencing the society and I think it is for the good. In western countries, on the other hand, people are raised to be very independent, work when they are 16 and live on their own when they are 21 (I am not sure what the exact ages are but you get the point). When this happens you start making your own decisions and the market/environment lends itself to a lot of choices. Then you get to be about 30 and really want to settle down. … like me! I agree with the fact that when you are given choices you end up being less satisfied. I do want to share my thoughts on arranged marriage. It really depends on the culture you are brought up in. For example, I am from India and there are a good number of people who grow up knowing that their marriages will be arranged by their parents or relatives. So, they never really want to get into relationships. That said, I am sure they all have feeling for someone while they are growing up. Who doesn’t? But they know what is going to happen and they don’t enter in relationships. The society is structured in a way that makes it a part of your life and the society changes with time and generations. India is no more a closed economy. Education, internet, travel, etc. are influencing the society and I think it is for the good.

In western countries, on the other hand, people are raised to be very independent, work when they are 16 and live on their own when they are 21 (I am not sure what the exact ages are but you get the point). When this happens you start making your own decisions and the market/environment lends itself to a lot of choices. Then you get to be about 30 and really want to settle down. … like me!

]]> By: Teif http://danariely.com/2009/02/14/valentine%e2%80%99s-blog/#comment-3253 Teif Wed, 18 Feb 2009 18:31:36 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=353#comment-3253 The moral of this story is that going on lots of dates to find the perfect partner will probably make us less likely to find someone we are happy with. Perhaps divorse rates have risen as dating has got more popular at an earlier age. If we meet just one person in our lives and we can't compare them to other people in our past we usually end up much happier. Of course we could always choose badly and then we need to know when to get out. We need to use our instincts more and learn to trust our own judgement. I guess the benifit of having someone choose for you is that they keep all the baggage of having compared lots of people and you get the benefit of their careful choices based on comparisons without knowing what you may have missed out on. The moral of this story is that going on lots of dates to find the perfect partner will probably make us less likely to find someone we are happy with. Perhaps divorse rates have risen as dating has got more popular at an earlier age. If we meet just one person in our lives and we can’t compare them to other people in our past we usually end up much happier. Of course we could always choose badly and then we need to know when to get out. We need to use our instincts more and learn to trust our own judgement.
I guess the benifit of having someone choose for you is that they keep all the baggage of having compared lots of people and you get the benefit of their careful choices based on comparisons without knowing what you may have missed out on.

]]> By: Will http://danariely.com/2009/02/14/valentine%e2%80%99s-blog/#comment-3252 Will Wed, 18 Feb 2009 11:11:46 +0000 http://www.predictablyirrational.com/?p=353#comment-3252 Dan, I love your work, but if I'd let my mom make the decision for me, I guarantee you I would've ended up divorced (or suicidally depressed). Let's stick to the original comparison with the experiment : each person got to CHOOSE a picture. If each person really did choose a partner, and then had to live with it, then that might work. But not if someone did the choosing for them. That's like giving a picture to each person and telling them they had to live with it. Dan, I love your work, but if I’d let my mom make the decision for me, I guarantee you I would’ve ended up divorced (or suicidally depressed).
Let’s stick to the original comparison with the experiment : each person got to CHOOSE a picture. If each person really did choose a partner, and then had to live with it, then that might work. But not if someone did the choosing for them. That’s like giving a picture to each person and telling them they had to live with it.

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