Comments on: Why should one person always pay for shared meals?

By: Joel

Joel — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 17:49:47 +0000

comment above by boppyone 13 January 2010, 3:56 am links out to a porn site.

By: Boppyone

Boppyone — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 07:56:53 +0000

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By: natoliy

natoliy — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 10:15:53 +0000

Microsoft Digital Image

By: germanik

germanik — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 07:37:58 +0000

Door-to-door searches

By: Zashkaser

Zashkaser — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 16:29:39 +0000

Hi, interest post. I’ll write you later about few questions!

By: Stephanie Booth

Stephanie Booth — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 21:54:51 +0000

I’d be curious to have your opinion/analysis on the “Bank” system I personally like a lot: http://www.stoweboyd.com/message/2007/07/being-the-bank.html (as the discussion around the incident shows, I think there are cultural issues at stake too).

By: Barry Margolin

Barry Margolin — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 07:45:02 +0000

I think this is a win-win situation.

When someone treats us, we feel good because we received a present. Who doesn’t like getting something for nothing?

But there’s also pleasure in giving. We feel proud that we’re able to treat our friends. And we also know from primate research that social contracts like this are in our genes. PIcking up the tab is the human equivalent of grooming.

By: Allie Taylor

Allie Taylor — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:05:47 +0000

This is one of those ‘can’t see the forest for the trees’ situations. Spending time with one’s friends is what is important. Friends share – just say ‘your turn.’ If you’re with a friend/s, it’s clear. If it’s not a friend, then there will be ‘tears’; move on. If the last thing wanted is offense, either say nothing and continue (and LET IT GO or you’ll die young) or stop going out with that person/s.

I agree with Kathie that it can be galling to always be paying more but if one says nothing, then the ‘bad’ behaviour is being reinforced by the person that is the recipient of that behaviour.

Three choices:
1. do/say something, or
2. let it go and keep the friend (remembering that nothing can be unsaid ever – it ought to be a first law of something), or
3. drop this ‘friend,’ remembering that friends treat each other with respect (social norms) which include not shafting each other (market norms) but if one is keeping score, that’s not friendship.

By: Lew Hoff

Lew Hoff — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 15:17:39 +0000

WhenI am with a potential supplier, a customer or a prospect I always want to pay for our meal. But with friends or family, I agree that it works best if one person pays, so long as it is not always the same person. What bugs me are the guys who never offer. At best, they will offer to split the tab. Despite my wife\’s plans, I am less and less willing to dine with those types.

By: Kate

Kate — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 09:22:09 +0000

Suddenly I felt a little bitter over all the friends/family/occassions I\’ve been left to foot the bill, expected to pay for the item/meal/tickets etc. More often than not I\’ve done it willingly but I hate someone else to suggest it and then expect me to pay. Unfortunately, my behaviour hasn´t changed, I just go out less. What\’s more, I\’m skint!