Can people love the one they are compatible with?
Leonard Lee, George Loewenstein, James Hong, Jim Young and I recently conducted a study on the ways that one’s own attractiveness influences their perception of, and actions toward, others.
The first question we had is whether people who are less attractive themselves view the attractiveness of others differently. Using data sets from HOTorNOT.com we found that regardless of how attractive people themselves are, they seem to judge others’ attractiveness in similar ways, supporting the notion that we have largely universal, culturally independent standards of beauty (e.g. symmetric faces). Moreover, we found that people prefer to date others who are moderately more attractive than they are themselves.
We also found a difference in who they approached for a date, where less attractive individuals approached others who were less attractive. So in essence, less attractive people have the same sense of esthetics but being aware of their own attractiveness, they approach people who are in the same range as themselves.
Finally, we wondered how less attractive individuals rationalized to themselves, their selection of less attractive others. Using a speed-dating study we found that more attractive people placed more weight on physical attractiveness in selecting their dates, while less attractive people placed more weight on other qualities (e.g. sense of humor). Much like the famous line from Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, people find a way to love the ones they can be with.
Great stuff Dan! Just wondering though – would the sample of people visiting a website like hotornot.com be inherently biased? What about the people who never did visit the site? Will that affect the outcome of our study..
Needless to say, at a intuitive level, I fully agree with what you have mentioned in the post.
“Moreover, we found that people prefer to date others who are moderately more attractive than they are themselves.”
This could be explained by self enhancement bias, imo, among other things.
“Finally, we wondered how less attractive individuals rationalized to themselves, their selection of less attractive others.”
I think this can partially explain results in Bornstadd and Russell 2007, for example (assuming additional analysis shows more self similarity in attractiveness between friends and close relations), however I don’t know if I buy the false consciousness aspect of the explanation. I think research following Hönekopp 2006 will likely find differences in judgements. Studies showing self fulfilling effects of different levels of attractiveness suggest to me that there are individual differences on other scales that affect preferences.
You also seem to be running together attractiveness judgements and mate choice. It’s reflected in the media friendly headline “Can people love the one they are compatible with”
In addition on a philosophical level it is to some degree a projection of value. Similarity of judgment doesn’t necessarily make something valuable. Individuals can choose to put more or less emphasis on appearance despite being subject to the same evolutionary adaptations that evolved to exclude “bad genes” (eg stuctural abnormalities, developmental asymmetry, unusual bilateral asymmetry, signs of disease or illness) and select for “good genes” (ideal function, sexual fecundity, even byproducts like default emotional valence of a face that others interpret as more receptive, or reflective of positive emotions). To see why evolved agreement doesn’t make something objective, comparisons can be made with suboptimal aspects of human universal moral sense.
So if I’m reading this right, the “beautiful people” really are as shallow as we’ve always thought them to be?
Interesting…
Hedonic editing?
I think it’s an underexplored point – in general, not necessarily here – that the values we place on everything (certainly in the dating market!) are very much an ‘inference story’.
How does the wealth effect impact your theory? By observation, there are several public examples, specifically with celebrities, where an average or unattractive celebrity or wealthy individual is able to attract mates/companions which substantially exceed their range of attractiveness. How does variable interact? Does the celebrity deem that by their status they would be more successful in pursuing the more attractive companion or is it that the companion pursues the celebrity based on attributes of wealth or popularity?
I believe the “beauty” of using hotornot.com is to control for variables like the wealth to demonstrate something distinct. This is pure physical attraction based only on a picture and it produces a consistent result. Great finding.
Quantifying the utility exchange rate between money and physical beauty could be interesting (but in my case I think I would only find it depressing). I wonder if hot-cold system framings would impact the exchange rate by changing the value subjects place on beauty or wealth respectively.